The “Two-And-Done” Rule

This one is something that depending on the moment you think about this you might agree or disagree, and it's like those optical illusions that when you think "right" the images rotates to the right, and when you think "left", it does to the left.

The principle of "two and done" is a guiding tenet to keep yourself sane, on your toes, and put things on perspective to not give an unwarranted amount of importance to things that do not have them. 

Even if "someone is wrong on the internet", knowing when to stop arguing can feel like "not driven enough" on my side, but it can feel also like a liberating proactive empathic way to problem solving.

So the Two-And-Done rule was born, wherein I will state my case the first time, and if whoever is arguing to the contrary does not agree after hearing my position, I’ll let it go. But the next time the opportunity comes up, I will argue my point again. Maybe allowing for a gap of time for people to consider my original point, or maybe allowing me time to refine and rephrase my ideas to be more convincing.

If I fail to get my way after the second time though, I am done. I will even say as much to whomever I am debating if they are the final decision-maker. I will say something like, “OK, let’s go your way then. I still don’t completely agree with everything proposed here, but I think I’ve made my case, and we need to move on.”

Yielding in an argument like this has some weird, powerful effects. One is, it kind of releases you from responsibility if things should go wrong. And if a truly bad decision has been made, it is actually pretty likely that things will start going wrong. (Important Note: If you fail to convince people after two tries, you really do have to get behind the decision, and not try to sabotage or undermine it)

 

The pretty important part is that you have to get behind the decision.